Fighting the Grinch

Ok, so I'm trying really hard to get into the Christmas spirit. I don't know why it's been so difficult, because normally I love Christmas, but this year I am just not feeling it. Last week when one of my patients asked me if I was ready for Christmas I told him no, I didn't really feel into it yet, and he asked, "Why because you work here?" Although it has definitely started to feel more like winter weather-wise in Albuquerque with highs in the 30's (Brrr!!!), maybe I have gotten a little more cynical.

So to try to get myself going last weekend,we took Vesper for her first Christmas to visit Santa. She loved seeing all of the other dogs and even tolerated her reindeer outfit all afternoon. I think she's been so good she defineitly deserves some bones and toys from Santa! Maybe even some turkey too!

After the Santa festivities we headed out to get our tree. Last year was our first Christmas together being married and the first time for me having a real tree, and we loved it so much we decided to continue the tradition. We went to the same little tree lot too, although this time instead of getting a little six footer, I just couldn't resist how beautiful and full the 7 1/2 foot tree looked.

Once we got it home and up I was really starting to feel excited about making our house Christmassy, but that fell apart, literally, last night.

Our poor tree was too top heavy! I worried we would have to ghetto rig it with some twine, but somehow Joel managed to secure it with the base. I have yet to fix the ornaments and am hoping it survived today.

On a sadder note Joel's grandmother was admitted to the hospital yesterday and she seems to be worsening. I know Joel has some happy memories of her although she hasn't remembered him for many years. Two years ago I had the chance to meet her, and Joel and his mom and I got to spend the day with her on one of her better days.

Our family has also been very worried about my parent's dear chocolate lab Choco. Even at the old age of 16, he has kept some spring in his step and even tolerates our little Springer's crazy antics. It's so hard, especially on Steph who has really taken care of him so much these last few years. He is so sweet and has had such a good life.

But we still have so many things to be grateful for, so I am fighting the Grinch! How do you get into the Christmas Spirit? :) 

Part 3: Beautiful Beaches, No problem Mon!

In addition to it's beautiful beaches, Jamaica has such a lush rainforest and beautiful animals, plants, and flowers. Our resort had a little lagoon in between two of the beaches, and each day we enjoyed feeding a little duck friend, who would wiggle his little tail in excitement every time he got a snack. 

There were many turtles in the lagoon too, and it seemed that once I started throwing bread they all came out of nowhere! Several cranes joined in the feeding frenzy too, but they weren't interested in the bread. We realized they were using the bread as bait to gulp up a fish! Pretty smart! 

The resort is also home to many kittens. While they are basically wild, the resort has tolerated them because it helps keep the scavenger black birds away from the outdoor restaurants. This little black and white seemed to be more interested in finding a cool place to take a nap. 

The lagoon was absolutely lovely at night…

And we had to build at least one sand castle

Even our Denver friends didn't know what this tower was supposed to be...

An adobe! 

I can't wait to go back! We miss it so much all ready we hope you can make it for our Jamaican-themed Christmas party on the 22nd!

The "Real" Jamaica

This year we both wanted to experience a little more of the culture than last time. Last year our major (only) excursion was to go shopping. Anyway, this year we wanted a more "authentic" Jamaican shopping experience, and we definitely got it! Our bus driver dropped us off on a busy street in the middle of Ocho Rios. From every direction, Jamaican shop owners were shouting at us, "What's your name!" "You come to my shop!" "You want your hair braid?!" To say the least the Jamaicans are very persistent in their selling methods. One shop owner lead us through the market, which was like a maze of shops everywhere, sort of flea-market style. The shop owners are calling out to you to come look, but we had learned that to the Jamaicans looking=buying. Since the one shop owner lead us all the way back we felt obligated to buy something, so we ended up with a "hand-carved" turtle with a baby turtle on it's back, which was actually quite cute.

Lesson number one was to have figured out a better way to handle our money. While Joel was trying to pay, the other shop-keepers swarmed us, with about 8 of them in very close personal space. One lured me into her shop, and her sincere plea that anything I could do to help her would be much appreciated. I ended up with a beautiful sarong, despite already having brought four along. As we pushed our way back through the maze trying to escape the desperate pleas to buy more, I felt sobered by the destitute poverty most Jamaicans live in.

Jamaica has a very high unemployment rate, and those that are fortunate to have jobs live well below what we consider poverty in the US. We learned that the average Jamaican only makes about $75 every two weeks. One of our favorite bartenders was also describing to us how inefficient their public transportation system is, so most of the resort staff rely on taxis to get them to work. However, the taxis are also so inefficient that it can take them 1-2 hours to get home every day! Despite the considerable hardship most of the Jamaican people face every day almost all the resort staff with were incredibly friendly, welcoming, and grateful for the things they do have.

Seeing the struggles of the Jamaicans in the city just to meet their most basic needs for food, housing, and safety reminded me of how incredibly grateful and thankful I am for everything we have been blessed with. With Thanksgiving come and gone I was again reminded just how much I have to be thankful for.

Jamaica Me Crazy Mon-Part One

We had such an amazing time on our second trip to Jamaica. We spent 8 beautiful days there and had a wonderful time soaking up the sun and gorgeous beaches, the culture, the food, and just enjoying being together.

It started early Saturday morning with our long flight to Montego Bay. We had dropped Vesper off at the pet resort the night before and I felt happy knowing she would be well taken care of with lots of tummy rubs, swim lessons, puppy play dates, and puppy treats. Thankfully my sister Steph agreed to watch the other black and white, so with way too much packed in our suitcases we were off! Not long after take-off our pilot announced that we had a special message from the Air Traffic Control Tower. I immediately looked at Joel and thought, "Oh no, what are they up to!" Sure enough our friends at ATC wanted to wish us a happy anniversary and to have fun at the Justin Bieber concert!

Once in Montego Bay we breezed through customs and were off on a somewhat treacherous 2 hour drive to the resort in Ocho Rios. After the three Red Stripes we were handed at the airport and not eating all day, I almost forgot that in Jamaica they drive on the right side of the road. Despite the very narrow two lane roads, people walking all over the place, goats and dogs roaming, and some very annoying fellow passengers we arrived safely at the resort.

Many of you have asked, "Why do you go back to Jamaica?" Well.....

 The view from our palm frond hut

 Another beautiful day in paradise!

This one was the view of the resort from our sailboat excursion

 

 We are addicted to the beaches! The blue on blue water and sky, green palms and rainforest, and lounging on the beach is just so intoxicating (sometimes literally). The feel of the resort is so luxurious and romantic too, and after spending our honeymoon there it has a become a very special place to us. I love any vacation with Joel but this was extra special too, no cell phones or TV's, schedules; just the chance for us to have uninterrupted time together to re-connect, share, talk about the future and our plans, what we want our life to look like, all that good stuff.

When we arrived at Sans Soucci we were greeted  with "Welcome Home Mon" as we were directed to check in and handed glasses of champagne and a cool towel. All of the staff are amazing, and they really go out of their way to make your stay perfect and really made us feel pampered. Since last year was a special visit for our honeymoon, I wasn't quite sure what to expect this time, but we still got treated as extra special returning guests. Many of the great bartenders, servers, lifeguards and others even remembered us from last year. Despite getting rained out on the first day, we were treated with a bottle of champagne to celebrate our one year anniversary!

One of my favorite things about Jamaica and our resort especially is the amazing food. We kept joking that if it wasn't for the alcohol, we would probably lose weight! I have never had such fresh food, from farm raised chickens just off the property to the vine ripened tomatoes picked that morning. Red snapper is a local favorite, and it's no wonder since the fisherman could be seen bringing the fish in that day and serving it to us for dinner that very night.

Our favorite restaurant at the resort is the more formal Casa Nova. It was really fun to dress up and enjoy the  traditional Jamaican cuisine and some exotic dishes too. It was wonderful to sit back and listen to the Jamaican tree frogs or piano player while enjoying the five course dinner.

 A little sunburned after the third day

One of our favorite appetizers was the Shrimp Tasting- a perfect sample of three Jamaican flavors- Tangy Escovitch Shrimps/Artichoke Shrimp Mousse/Shrimp & Citrus Ceviche. I will attempt to re-create this for our Jamaican theme Christmas party. 

Some of the more exotic things we tried was the garlic escargot and mushrooms and a braised oxtail ravioli with a rum reduction and citrus glaze. Yum! 

Keeping with the British influence and colonial style of the resort, we were served soup and salad with each meal, including a delicious lobster bisque. 

Our favorite entrees included jerk chicken (of course!) and there was always a delicious fresh fish on the menu, usual the catch of the day red snapper. We also enjoyed beef tenderloin and lobster, and one of my favorites was a risotto with salmon skewers and this yummy stuffed shrimp with a butter sauce. 

The ending to any formal Jamaican dinner is Black Gold, or the Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee, one of the most expensive and sought after coffees in the world. We learned that this coffee is so special (and expensive) because the Jamaican government made a new declaration that it can only be grown in a specific area, and has had regulatory protection to ensure that only coffee grown in this area of the Blue Mountains (the highest mountain range in the Caribbean) can be called Blue Mountain Coffee. It has a delicious mild flavor without any bitterness. After the first few nights Joel said I was cutoff from drinking coffee at night, because it must be so strong I was literally bouncing off the walls. It was quite an adventure but we managed to get two big bags to bring home. I have to agree with James Bond's declaration in Live and Let Die, " Blue Mountain Coffee…the most delicious in the world."

The other major advantage of the all inclusive resort was being able to enjoy the many imbibes of Jamaica. We would often start the day with a mimosa with a twist; we had the local Jamaican Sorrell juice instead of orange juice. We learned the Jamaicans often drink the Sorrell juice around Christmas-time, and use oranges and cloves to add Christmas flavors to this local fruit drink.

Our other favorite starter drink was a Jamaican style Bloody Mary, with Jerk Sauce to give it that extra kick. Rum is huge here, and we enjoyed many variations of rum inspired beach cocktails, and the local beer Red Stripe too. 

Since Joel is a HUGE James Bond fan, its just another reason to love Jamaica. The James Bond Series author, Ian Flemming, lived in Jamaica, and it was so cool to see many of the real-life references to Jamaica from the books and movies. While Joel rolled his eyes at me when I asked if we could re-create the beach scene with James Bond and Vesper, we did enjoy several dirty and Vesper martinis.

Need I say more? I hope we can convince some special people (you know who you are who never take a vacation and need one!) to come with us next time!

Yeah mon!

I am counting the hours until we leave for Jamaica! It's only 9:30am and I am just hoping this day goes by fast. While I would much rather be getting my mani/pedi, going on vacation always means tying up loose ends, telling my patients it's only a week, they'll survive, etc. Leaving the country for 9 days also meant me calling the pet resort numerous times to verify that the doggy baby was set for her swim lessons, had enough puppy play dates, and that they can contact her Auntie Stephany if needed. Since my sister has been great enough to house sit for us and watch Jane Cat  too I feel ok knowing both the babies will be in good hands.

We had such an amazing time last year I can't wait to be back and see some of the sites we didn’t get to see last time. I'm also looking forward to seeing some friends we made last year, and Joel's good friend Karl will even be getting married there (the day after we leave!)

More pictures to come….

It's a Dog's Day

Well, at our house, it's actually a dog's day every day! It seems that ever since Vesper joined our family we are getting outside more and more, which I absolutely love. We have also made it a point to take her on an outing at least every weekend. This weekend we went out to the so-called "Canine Social Event of the Year" for Animal Humane's Doggy Dash and Dawdle.

Once we finally arrived (their parking set up was horrible, we had to wait 40 minutes just to get in!) we were greeted by two adult male Springers. We have been wondering what our Springer will look like once she is full grown, so it was nice to see these beautiful dogs in their full grown Springer Spaniel glory. Although they were very shy, it was nice to see them since they are so rare (at least in NM).

 

I wonder if our Vesper could look like this in just a few short months! 

 





We finished the 2k without too much pulling, and I was glad she had another chance to socialize with so many other dogs. Vesper greeted almost all the dogs with kisses, and so many people commented on how pretty she is! She was especially excited about her new Bronco scarf, which did ignite some controversy!

 

As Joel said, "She will go to bed dreaming of playing fetch with Peyton."

 



 

We finished!

 

After seeing and smelling the pups and collecting some free treats and goodies we decided to head out to a dog friendly patio for lunch. We have always loved to grab a beer or wine on a nice patio, and the Albuquerque fall has been so gorgeous this year, so of course we love to bring the pup along. She is so good and content to people and puppy watch, and one of the server's at Gecko's was even taken enough with her to bring her some bacon!

For all you dog lovers here's some of our favorite dog-friendly patios:

Gecko's on Academy and Gecko's on Central

Village Pizza and Corrales Brewery in Corrales

Flying Star  (of course!)

Nob Hill Bar and Grill

Kelly's
 

What's your favorite puppy place?

Happy Friday

Happy Friday! I've been meaning to post all week and have been struggling to find a genuine and eloquent way to express everything we've been through this week, so instead of posting, editing, deleting, and re-posting I figured I would just post it.

We had been talking about trying to get pregnant at the end of the year, and with Jamaica just a few weeks away I was getting excited for this last booze-fest and adult vacation before we started a family, until my amazing husband shared with me that we are in a position for me to take some time off work when we decide to have babies. I don't know why, but I was surprised by this. Joel has always been very supportive of my career, and I know that was one of the things that was important to him. But I was also deeply touched about how much thought he had put into this plan, and his sentiments about how great it would be for our family for me to really be able to spend a few years home with our future-children during some crucial years of development. I also felt incredibly fortunate that we are in a position to do this, and grateful to have a husband who shares my values and acknowledged that this would be a difficult decision for me, but also a decision that is mine to make that he supports either way.

 I initially had a lot of mixed feelings about it (did I really go to school for all those years to be a stay at home mom? What will people think? What about my student loans? Should I maintain my license? Would a private practice allow me to still work and take care of the little babies? Could I be successful in a private practice? Would it really be safe with the babies nearby to do therapy in the casita/future MIL cottage?  Will I lose my identity? Will I lose myself…my sanity? Will our relationship change? Will I still be contributing to our household in a meaningful way?

Many of these questions and emotions have been running through my mind, but I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and peace when I stopped and asked myself, (ok, actually, Joel asked me and made me answer), what I really wanted, and to stop and allow myself to be selfish for a minute and think about what I really want.

While I frequently (ok a lot) fantasize about our children, write down names, oogle over pictures of my friends' babies, I realized that there really is no "right time", at least for us. I realized that we will never have enough money, will never have the right job, will never have been there long enough, will never be old enough, or young enough, will never be prepared enough, or be married long enough, etc, etc. And now acknowledging that feels very freeing.

I think I was very much fixated on my "life plan"--I knew I would graduate college by a certain date, I set out my plan of finishing my master's by the time I was 25, getting hired at the VA, getting my independent license within 2 years (that's now on the three year plan), and getting married and having babies. Not only did I have these expectations of myself, but I always sensed this unspoken pressure of this is just what the "right" time-table is. While telling Joel about this plan and my perceived ability to attempt to control everything in my life, I realized the simple complexity of letting go of all of this and just living my life. Or, as Joel simply said, "I had a life plan and then I got divorced and it all went to shit. Now I just want to be with you and be happy."

So, that's what we're doing. Although I can't stop making lists because of my high degree of neuroticism, I can stop obsessing over the Bump's weekly updates like how to "Boost Your Chances of Conceiving" and instead commit to just nurturing our marriage and my body, mind, and spirit, and it's ok  if that often involves wine.

The most wonderful time of the year

No, not Christmas, but Fall! Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. (It should have been no surprise to Joel that we had an 8 month engagement since my heart was set on a fall wedding!) Fall is one of the things I love most about Albuquerque, from the Balloon Fiesta to green chili roasting, picking apples, leaf-peeping, and all of the many activities and festivals going on around town, not to mention the perfect weather.

This past September we celebrated our one year anniversary and drove up to Ouray, Colorado. We stayed at this adorable little B&B, and it was very nostalgic and reminiscent of our honeymoon there, although Joel liked to keep saying that we're not newlyweds anymore!
That third week  of September was perfect mountain weather, and the timing was just right to see the fall leaves in full glory. Ouray is nick-named the "Switzerland of America" and all of the little shops and breweries are so charming, without the snobbery of other places (ahhem Telluride). While I refused to take on some of Joel's death-defying off-roading trails, we did take one trail up to this beautiful waterfall.

All of the Aspens turning yellow were amazing....

 

Back in Albuquerque our weekends have been packed with fun with family and friends, and of course getting Vesper puppy out and about, she of course loves the mountains too!

After our trip to the corn maze and pumpkin patch I finally got around to making our home feel a little more like fall too.

Wine and Cheese Parties

So I thought I would have to post about our first try at hosting a Wine and Cheese Party. I knew ideally a small and intimate group would be best, and we decided on a New Mexico Wine theme. Although Joel is somewhat of a wine connoisseur, I mainly prefer to just drink the wine, so we thought it would be fun to share our favorite NM wines with some close friends.

Most of the grocery and liquor stores carry wines from the local vineyards, although some from the smaller wineries can be tough to find. (Last year we visited almost all of the 40 vineyards in NM, almost enough to win the free wine honeymoon/cruise to the Mediterranean!)  During our parties we sampled wines from Casa Rodena (a beautiful site and a very special place for Joel and I, with decent wine and a pompous owner/sommelier--@ Megan J ), St. Claire (always a favorite and very easy to find), Santa Fe Vineyards (the Estrella Del Norte Winery shares their tasting room in Santa Fe, their wines are excellent but not sold in Albuquerque), and Ponderosa (my favorite for both reds and whites).

The Santa Fe Vineyards Tinto del Sol was one of the favorites, as well as Casa Rodena's La Sobrina's Table, although after a few tastings I think we lost track. The best thing to share about these wines is that they are all very reasonably priced between $9-$15.  It was so nice to visit and catch up with our dear friends Megan and Mike and Carmela. Mike and Carmela's boys even entertained us with all of their "Lady Gaga" dances and I think I have two new BFF's! This was also one of our new puppy's first introductions to kids, and even the little boy who was afraid of dogs was petting her by the end of the night!

I also had my sister Stephany over to celebrate her 25th birthday and my mom too. While she complained about how OLD 25 is, it was very nice to catch up.

I was excited about the new appetizers I tried for both of the wine tasting/birthday parties, and the best thing about them was being able to serve things in stages with the wine while still being able to relax and socialize with everyone.

I am so excited that I was able to make everything in advance, and I (finally) realized this was part of what made both of these nights so much fun. This was the first time hosting a party that I really felt like I could relax and socialize with my guests without having to spend the whole night cooking and preparing the food. So I thought I would share since best of all, the apps were a hit!

First was a garlic marinated cheese. My sister-in-law Jill and my mother-in-law Vicki have made this before and brought it to our last Christmas party, and everyone was asking me to make it. Went great with the Casa Rodena Seranade or a Pinot Gris.

It's so easy to make, and ideally making it the day before or night before works best.

A stand by favorite was pigs in blankets, also easy to pop in the oven before guests arrive, and the kiddos loved them too.

This year our garden went crazy with jalapeños, basil, and tomatoes so I was trying to find some fun recipes to use these fresh ingredients.

I ended up going with a tomato and basil brushetta, which went perfectly with the finger food and wine theme and went especially well with the reds. I also made some mini grilled cheese jalapeño, bacon, and cream cheese sandwiches.

To top it all off we finished with a simple dessert, the St. Claire Mimbers Red with chocolate and strawberries and the NM Chimayo Red Chili Wine. I think people were surprised with the red chili wine, but it was a great compliment to the chocolate.

Goal of the Week

Last month I started a six month long training and certification process to become a certified trauma therapist for veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder. I have  started Cognitive Processing Therapy with four of my veterans so far, and while I am a cognitive therapist a heart CPT really speaks to me in a way that makes sense, and it feels so hopeful to know that people CAN recover from PTSD and really can move forward with their lives once they move away from their distorted beliefs to a more balanced way of thinking. The difficult part has been hearing and carrying their trauma stories, from combat trauma to deeply disturbing interpersonal and other traumas.

One of my research projects as an intern was on vicarious traumatization and how therapists can develop clinical symptoms based upon their patients' stories. Since getting hired on I've become aware that this is an area that we seem to have some deficits in as a social work community, but I do feel fortunate to have a few very supportive people I can turn to.

Achieving the elusive "work life balance" has been challenging, more so than I imagined, so my goal for this week will be to employ some of my own strategies, and I really hope to work on some more mindfulness skills and realize that in my growth as a therapist one of the most important things I can do to take care of my patients is to take care of myself.

9-10-11

Happy First Anniversary to us! It's hard to believe this year has gone by so fast, but I have loved every minute of it! I feel so blessed to have found the love of my life, and I can't wait to continue to share my life with Joel and look forward to all of our adventures together. This year has brought so many wonderful surprises in just getting to know each other even more and learning all of our little quirks.

I found this part of our vows and am reminded of the many happily married couples we know and seeing the way they nourish themselves and their marriage, and how important it is for us to do this every day.

"Dedication, love, and happiness can grow only when you nourish them together. Stand fast in that hope, having faith in your shared future, just as strongly as you have faith in yourselves and in one another today. Only with this spirit can you forge a union that will strengthen and endure all the days of your lives.

We hope that the words and spirit of our gathering may be filled with a truth that will sharpen with the passing years. We hope, too, that the meaning of the vows that Joel and Lisa are about to share with one another will deepen as well, as they discover the endless possibilities of life together. "

 

Aside from the beginning of our journey as husband and wife, I'm still in awe of our beautiful wedding day, how very special and meaningful it was, and how much help my mom and my sister were, and how everything came together so perfectly. Since you never really can have enough pictures, here a few more!

At the beautiful Rancho de Corrales in Corrales, NM

 

Beautiful Bridesmaids and Groomsmaids

 

 

Mr. and Mrs. Joel Anderson!

Absolutely loved my gown from Maggie Sotero

 

 

Thank you all for the anniversary wishes. We had a great day celebrating at the Melting Pot and in the mountains.