Happy Friday

Happy Friday! I've been meaning to post all week and have been struggling to find a genuine and eloquent way to express everything we've been through this week, so instead of posting, editing, deleting, and re-posting I figured I would just post it.

We had been talking about trying to get pregnant at the end of the year, and with Jamaica just a few weeks away I was getting excited for this last booze-fest and adult vacation before we started a family, until my amazing husband shared with me that we are in a position for me to take some time off work when we decide to have babies. I don't know why, but I was surprised by this. Joel has always been very supportive of my career, and I know that was one of the things that was important to him. But I was also deeply touched about how much thought he had put into this plan, and his sentiments about how great it would be for our family for me to really be able to spend a few years home with our future-children during some crucial years of development. I also felt incredibly fortunate that we are in a position to do this, and grateful to have a husband who shares my values and acknowledged that this would be a difficult decision for me, but also a decision that is mine to make that he supports either way.

 I initially had a lot of mixed feelings about it (did I really go to school for all those years to be a stay at home mom? What will people think? What about my student loans? Should I maintain my license? Would a private practice allow me to still work and take care of the little babies? Could I be successful in a private practice? Would it really be safe with the babies nearby to do therapy in the casita/future MIL cottage?  Will I lose my identity? Will I lose myself…my sanity? Will our relationship change? Will I still be contributing to our household in a meaningful way?

Many of these questions and emotions have been running through my mind, but I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and peace when I stopped and asked myself, (ok, actually, Joel asked me and made me answer), what I really wanted, and to stop and allow myself to be selfish for a minute and think about what I really want.

While I frequently (ok a lot) fantasize about our children, write down names, oogle over pictures of my friends' babies, I realized that there really is no "right time", at least for us. I realized that we will never have enough money, will never have the right job, will never have been there long enough, will never be old enough, or young enough, will never be prepared enough, or be married long enough, etc, etc. And now acknowledging that feels very freeing.

I think I was very much fixated on my "life plan"--I knew I would graduate college by a certain date, I set out my plan of finishing my master's by the time I was 25, getting hired at the VA, getting my independent license within 2 years (that's now on the three year plan), and getting married and having babies. Not only did I have these expectations of myself, but I always sensed this unspoken pressure of this is just what the "right" time-table is. While telling Joel about this plan and my perceived ability to attempt to control everything in my life, I realized the simple complexity of letting go of all of this and just living my life. Or, as Joel simply said, "I had a life plan and then I got divorced and it all went to shit. Now I just want to be with you and be happy."

So, that's what we're doing. Although I can't stop making lists because of my high degree of neuroticism, I can stop obsessing over the Bump's weekly updates like how to "Boost Your Chances of Conceiving" and instead commit to just nurturing our marriage and my body, mind, and spirit, and it's ok  if that often involves wine.

The most wonderful time of the year

No, not Christmas, but Fall! Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. (It should have been no surprise to Joel that we had an 8 month engagement since my heart was set on a fall wedding!) Fall is one of the things I love most about Albuquerque, from the Balloon Fiesta to green chili roasting, picking apples, leaf-peeping, and all of the many activities and festivals going on around town, not to mention the perfect weather.

This past September we celebrated our one year anniversary and drove up to Ouray, Colorado. We stayed at this adorable little B&B, and it was very nostalgic and reminiscent of our honeymoon there, although Joel liked to keep saying that we're not newlyweds anymore!
That third week  of September was perfect mountain weather, and the timing was just right to see the fall leaves in full glory. Ouray is nick-named the "Switzerland of America" and all of the little shops and breweries are so charming, without the snobbery of other places (ahhem Telluride). While I refused to take on some of Joel's death-defying off-roading trails, we did take one trail up to this beautiful waterfall.

All of the Aspens turning yellow were amazing....

 

Back in Albuquerque our weekends have been packed with fun with family and friends, and of course getting Vesper puppy out and about, she of course loves the mountains too!

After our trip to the corn maze and pumpkin patch I finally got around to making our home feel a little more like fall too.

Wine and Cheese Parties

So I thought I would have to post about our first try at hosting a Wine and Cheese Party. I knew ideally a small and intimate group would be best, and we decided on a New Mexico Wine theme. Although Joel is somewhat of a wine connoisseur, I mainly prefer to just drink the wine, so we thought it would be fun to share our favorite NM wines with some close friends.

Most of the grocery and liquor stores carry wines from the local vineyards, although some from the smaller wineries can be tough to find. (Last year we visited almost all of the 40 vineyards in NM, almost enough to win the free wine honeymoon/cruise to the Mediterranean!)  During our parties we sampled wines from Casa Rodena (a beautiful site and a very special place for Joel and I, with decent wine and a pompous owner/sommelier--@ Megan J ), St. Claire (always a favorite and very easy to find), Santa Fe Vineyards (the Estrella Del Norte Winery shares their tasting room in Santa Fe, their wines are excellent but not sold in Albuquerque), and Ponderosa (my favorite for both reds and whites).

The Santa Fe Vineyards Tinto del Sol was one of the favorites, as well as Casa Rodena's La Sobrina's Table, although after a few tastings I think we lost track. The best thing to share about these wines is that they are all very reasonably priced between $9-$15.  It was so nice to visit and catch up with our dear friends Megan and Mike and Carmela. Mike and Carmela's boys even entertained us with all of their "Lady Gaga" dances and I think I have two new BFF's! This was also one of our new puppy's first introductions to kids, and even the little boy who was afraid of dogs was petting her by the end of the night!

I also had my sister Stephany over to celebrate her 25th birthday and my mom too. While she complained about how OLD 25 is, it was very nice to catch up.

I was excited about the new appetizers I tried for both of the wine tasting/birthday parties, and the best thing about them was being able to serve things in stages with the wine while still being able to relax and socialize with everyone.

I am so excited that I was able to make everything in advance, and I (finally) realized this was part of what made both of these nights so much fun. This was the first time hosting a party that I really felt like I could relax and socialize with my guests without having to spend the whole night cooking and preparing the food. So I thought I would share since best of all, the apps were a hit!

First was a garlic marinated cheese. My sister-in-law Jill and my mother-in-law Vicki have made this before and brought it to our last Christmas party, and everyone was asking me to make it. Went great with the Casa Rodena Seranade or a Pinot Gris.

It's so easy to make, and ideally making it the day before or night before works best.

A stand by favorite was pigs in blankets, also easy to pop in the oven before guests arrive, and the kiddos loved them too.

This year our garden went crazy with jalapeños, basil, and tomatoes so I was trying to find some fun recipes to use these fresh ingredients.

I ended up going with a tomato and basil brushetta, which went perfectly with the finger food and wine theme and went especially well with the reds. I also made some mini grilled cheese jalapeño, bacon, and cream cheese sandwiches.

To top it all off we finished with a simple dessert, the St. Claire Mimbers Red with chocolate and strawberries and the NM Chimayo Red Chili Wine. I think people were surprised with the red chili wine, but it was a great compliment to the chocolate.